Moving On

This is my new motto.... I will be a mother and it will be soon!

Monday we met with our Doctor to discuss our options. It went pretty much as expected.  He said he was comfortable being honest with us as he could tell we were ready and able to handle it. He explained that our best option to have a baby would be to use donor eggs.  He feels that with my very low AMH number, I have officially begun Premature Ovarian Reserve, which is what I have said many times before in the blog that my ovaries are much older than me. If a 45-48 year old woman went to a doctor and wanted to get pregnant, this is the kind of number they would expect to see from her. So yes, for those of you who want to say it can still happen, it can, but the point is as far as medical opinions are concerned, it would not be worth it to pay thousands of dollars for IVF since it is not really increasing our chances of success. My eggs are just not great quality, so if there is a good one left in there, pumping my body with medicine is not really increasing the chances of that egg finding its way to Chris's sperm, if that makes sense.

I have been told by a few people to get a second opinion, again, I absolutely know you mean well, because you have heard yet again another miracle story, where someone changed Doctors and got pregnant. However, there are also MANY clinics out there that wouldn't even work with me since my number is as low as it is, which is why I have been so devastated all along. Chris and I said all along we would do this once, it was really me that wanted to give it one shot, I wanted to see what my body could and would do, so I could know in my heart I did everything I could, but you can not change your biological clock, it just is what it is.  You have to understand how hard it was to even motivate myself the first time knowing how much the odds were stacked against me, but I wanted to believe my body could make a miracle too. I have not given up complete hope on it, I will continue to take care of it and learn to love it again, after all its the only body I have and I am now hopeful that I will just be able to carry a baby.

Chris and I heard what the doctor said about donor eggs, however we had already been doing our own research and have found another option that we are really excited about. Donor Embryos. To explain it as easy as possible, other families that have gone through IVF, completed their families and are fortunate enough to still have remaining embryos can donate these embryos to another family. It's really an incredible thing, its another family that literally experienced the same heartbreak, then were one of the lucky ones to come out successful able to give back to the other couples that are still struggling and give them the opportunity to be parents.  Chris and I fell in love with this idea, we love that we can carry and bond with a baby for 9 months and get to still experience all the things we hoped for, the only thing that would be different is genetics, which means nothing to us. We are both 100% ok with the idea of raising a child that is not genetically ours, in fact we are falling more and more in love with the idea that our children could have other siblings to know when they are older.

We know this is a very different thing for many people to understand and support, but it is our life and our choice. We encourage you to do some research on it, it truly is amazing and speaks to our soul. I will of course continue to write about our journey, therefore you as the reader will learn more about the process through us.