Where do I begin... Chris and I have actively began our process of finding a beautiful family to donate their embryos to us, and to our surprise we believe we have already found them! For their privacy and all the children involved, I will not share specific details, but I will tell you about this amazing process so far.
First we began by posting our profile on 2 different websites that charge a small fee (to help run website and advertising). These websites could be compared to an online dating site. We post our profile with all kinds of specific details about ourselves and our life together. We are called the "recipient families" and then the "donor families" post their own profile with details about themselves and the remaining embryos they wish to donate. After setting up the profiles, I sent out a few emails to families that seemed like they had a similar family life. A few families responded but most of them were not interested in moving further with us, due to our religious beliefs, basically since we do not belong to a church or have a dominant religion, people did not feel comfortable. I completely understand that they have their beliefs and want their children to be raised the same way. Some other people responded and we just didn't "click".
The main discussion between families quickly becomes about the future and what kind of adoption you want. As I have mentioned in the previous post, there are 3 kinds of adoption, closed, semi-open and open adoptions. Anyone that is on a site like this will most likely want at the very least a semi-open adoption as they will already know who we are. Most of the families that responded to our profile were looking for a very open adoption, some were a little out of our comfort zone, mostly because it did not "feel" natural. They wanted the agreement to state a visit once a year (or more), constant communication and basically wants to be "best friends or extended family". While it is not necessary the idea of this that makes us uncomfortable, its the idea that we "have" to. My hope and wish is that we find a family that we naturally came to this agreement. We would be raising their child's full sibling, we know we will meet eventually and hope that the children become close and be true siblings, which along the way the parents will become closer and grow with them. It's a strange concept to wrap your mind around, however its also truly amazing. Our children will get to be so loved, and get to have more siblings than we would be able to give them!
Anyway, on to the good stuff. Then we received an email from an amazing couple. Things felt so right, and so natural. We emailed back and forth, sharing details about our lives, past and our hopes for the future. We just "clicked" and it feels great. We all agree that its about the children, our hope is to give them the best lives getting to know each other in ways that we are all comfortable with and are developmentally appropriate. We have shared more pictures and have even become Facebook friends.
We have agreed to move forward with the process, Chris and I have contacted a reproductive lawyer and waiting to see what the next steps are. We are over the moon and it just feels like we are finally on the right path.
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