We started officially trying to get pregnant in November 2016. We tried for a few months the good old fashion way, basically just being newlyweds and having as much sex as we could handle! That wasn't working, and quickly became overwhelming. I had gone to see my OBGYN before we started trying to make sure everything was good to go... and she assured me that everything was great, I was young, getting my period every month on my own, she told me to relax, eat lots of fruit and veggies (she didn't even suggest prenatal vitamins) and I would have a baby. I asked if there were any tests to run to just make sure my hormones were all where they should be, she insisted it wasn't necessary and encouraged me to relax.... this would begin my hatred towards the word "relax"!! To be completely honest, from the beginning I had this nagging gut feeling telling me something was wrong...I just didn't want to believe it.
During the 5 months of trying naturally I had 2 people I knew very well get pregnant... and I started to trust my gut feeling more and more. By this time, I had done tons of research, was using OPK (ovulation prediction kits) and we were timing intercourse to give ourselves the best chance we could. We were taking vitamins, trying to eat healthy all the while trying to "relax". Everyday I was asked "When are you going to start trying for a baby?" in some way or form from the many women I come in contact with between all the schools I attend on a weekly basis, which I followed up with "Trust me, I already am", which led them to respond with some sort of advice, which led me to hate the phrase "Give it time" or "Relax, and it will just happen" or best yet "Stop thinking about it and you will be pregnant". Trust me... I know all these women meant well and this is the socially appropriate response, however all I could do was envision punching them straight in the face (sorry if you are reading this, but its the truth). If you are in this situation again, lets start with not asking such personal questions about someones marriage, yes I know I will be a great mom which is why many people said these things to me, working with little kids, they see the bond I have with my students and makes them want to tell me these things, but just remember its my life and Im already feeling this sadness for myself, I don't need yours. Next, if you are in this situation, try telling the person something helpful, such as " It took me months to conceive, but the wait was worth it" or if you are one of the lucky ones that didn't have to try hard for your miracle say something like "Im sorry your going through that, stay positive and Im here if you need me". But as I said, these are just women that I know, not my friends... luckily my friends have been very supportive and are always there for me.
Anyway, by the 6th month I had enough....I called my OBGYN and asked for advice, I got the standard "Try for a year, then call me if you are not pregnant". I asked if she could at least refer me to a clinic for my husband to be checked out, since I read this was a much easier and more affordable process. She insisted everything was fine and we needed to wait the year. At this point I was furious and sick of crying... I am not an unhappy person and I could feel myself changing inside. I was becoming angry, resentful, frustrated and sad on a monthly basis, all while having this nagging feeling that something just wasn't right.
I decided to take it upon myself with my husband's help and find a clinic to help us. We were eventually able to get his sperm checked out and all was perfect.... which I was very grateful about but now I knew it was an issue with me... My husband called our insurance and discovered that all fertility testing was covered, so we decided what the hell, we minus well know and hopefully once I have some answers I will be able to follow all this advice of "relax, stop thinking about it" and get pregnant. If only I were that lucky....
I went to a local office that I absolutely love. I sat down with my new fertility doctor and she explained all the testing to me, it would take about 2 weeks to complete and then we would have some answers. I finally felt better, we had a plan, I like plans, plans help me "RELAX"! Until she called us back for the follow up consultation...It was my worst fear. I had done so much research at this point I knew what most outcomes could be, most of them being reversible with some sort of procedure or medicine except 1... of course that was my diagnosis.... Low AMH...For a woman, my age in her mid 30's my number should be 5-7 with a low average of 3...my number is 0.5. To be honest, I blacked out after hearing that number, I sat there holding my husbands hand while my tears fell, listening to the doctor explain everything I had already researched, which basically stated my egg reserve is very low. Women are born with all their eggs that they will ever have and the number slowly diminishes over time until they reach menopause, well my body is diminishing the eggs at a much faster rate than normal, therefore I do not have many eggs left. The other main concern here is the quality also diminishes as you get closer to menopause (hence why women struggle to conceive naturally the older they get), so there is a good chance the eggs I have left, may not be of a good enough quality to create a baby.
Somehow, my husband stayed positive for us and asked all the questions... her advice... "don't wait, don't relax and don't give it time" unlike all the other women including my OBGYN continued to tell me on a daily basis. She remained confident that we will have a child and that I may have saved our chances by coming to see her so early in our process. So my advice ladies... Don't WAIT! Go get tested, it was a simple 2 weeks of my life that saved me months of trying on our own, wasting more of our precious time. Now, we had to go home process this, look over our choices and come back when I got my period in 2 weeks to begin out infertility treatments... much easier said then done, but we did have a plan which made me feel slightly better.
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