I am really struggling with the choice of sharing our journey publicly or keeping it private from our friends and family. Yes, I am aware that I am typing a blog as we speak, but I have only shared it with close friends that already knew our situation and my mother. I am surprised how many other anonymous readers I have, yet I am not as us Fertility Warriors are constantly on the internet reading about other women, learning and comparing our situation to their's praying to read about someone in a similar situation that has been successful.
In my heart, I want to share our story because I want to bring some awareness, I am sure there are many women that I know who are currently struggling silently or have in the past, it would be great to hear from these women in a time like this. Plus I could use all the positive support I could get right now. I also want people to understand what it is really like for couples in these situations and I feel that Chris and I are handling it pretty well and are stronger and closer than ever, and I am proud of that and our marriage. I am also just a very open person and strive to live a life that is not full of secrets, as secrets stress me out and tend to make me feel like I am lying... for instance I feel like I have been isolating myself a bit over the past few months, because it's hard for me to even lie and answer questions like the simple, "How are you?" Usually this is asked when I haven't seen a person in a while and in a social setting, where it would really suck to answer honestly and drag everyone down, or put someone on the spot... which brings me back to the blog... it gives people an opportunity to read what we are going through, process it and choose a way to be involved, even if that is saying nothing... at least they know what's actually going on in our life.
My biggest fear and I know my fellow ladies that are struggling understand it completely, is the judgement, unsolicited advice and opinions, which many may argue you are opening yourself up to when you share your experience with people. However, this makes me a little angry, what kind of world are we living in if we feel like we can not share a very hard struggle with people who are supposed to care about us, without receiving judgements and opinions??? I would like to have more faith in our friends and family that this is not what they would do with this information, but I have to admit I am very scared of how some people may react... but the reality is.. this is OUR life and our choices to be made. I would not be sharing because I want your advice or judgement, I want you to learn about the process and more importantly support us in one way or another. However, I completely understand and am aware that many people will not.. I know some people do not think IVF is natural, and feel you should just wait and accept what God gives you... however, I feel this is one of those situations that you can not judge unless you have gone through it yourself and even then you should respect people's choices even if you do not agree.
So if you are reading this, then I have chosen to share it, so please remember to be kind and remember that Chris and I are very sad that this is our reality, but we are choosing to make the best of it, love and support each other through it and make tough decisions that we both agree on all in hopes to hold a sweet baby in our arms one day. We hope that you can love and support us through this time in our lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment