Shots...Shots....Shots!

This round was nothing like the previous round... these were real needles, medicine that needed to be mixed and then injected into my stomach. I made the mistake (but I had to) of watching the instructional video.  I freaked out and start bawling when I saw the needle in the video.  It was HUGE like something you would see on TV.  Chris kept telling me over and over again to calm down there wasn't any needles that big in our supplies, but I wouldn't believe him.  He finally got me to calm down saying he would do all the prep while I was in the bathroom taking a shower, and then I could just come in and get it over with.  So, this is what we did... well tried...  Honestly, I was better than last time, it only took me about 10 minutes to actually do it. I screamed and then smiled, and then started crying again... lol... it's just so overwhelming and so many emotions rage through you, well it did for me at least. Nevermind the burn you feel with Menopur, lucky I have a lot of cushion around my belly area (I knew it would come in handy one day), so I don't seem to feel it as bad as others, but it definitely burns going in. After, I just lay down and try to relax and think positively.

This month I took the stims for 6 days. I had a timer set on my phone and where ever Chris and I were we needed to take these shots.  On June 9th, my mother went in for a minor, routine surgery, well long story short it became a mess and we spent the entire day and night in the hospital, Chris was able to find a nurse that allowed us to use a room to administer the medicine, talk about "relaxing" right???  The following 2 days, once my mother was up and moving around and back to herself, we went to a Country Festival that had been previously planned, where we needed to leave, go to the car and take the medicine in the parking lot by the car, this was just one of the many things we would need to get used to with this new lifestyle.

 I can't imagine if I didn't have my husbands support through all of this.  For the most part, the medicine just made me really tired, bloated and just feeling yucky.  I also would sweat like crazy and feel constantly hot.  I didn't have any bruising from the needles and Chris swears my personality didn't change much, which was nice to hear because I was practicing a lot of self control, there were many days that I wanted to scream at anyone and everyone at the top of my lungs!!

The one thing I noticed was I couldn't remember anything and I struggled to focus... my mind was always somewhere else and this is not like me at all.  I definitely struggled to remember small details, and as always I cried way more, probably once a day for one reason or another.  I am very sensitive as it is, but the meds really make emotional or maybe its just the whole experience.

On Monday June 12th I went in for a monitoring appointment and confirmed that we had 2 mature eggs with another very close behind.  The doctor called later in the day and instructed that I take the trigger shot (to force ovulation) at 11pm and then come in Wednesday the 14th for our IUI.

This time I went in by myself, Chris needed to work, which is of course understandable.  The procedure went alright and I spent the day home resting with my legs up praying all of this would work.

I stayed pretty calm for most of the TWW (two week wait) although I just had this gut feeling that it didn't work and I couldn't shake it. I tried to stay positive, went to acupuncture 2 times a week and finished up my school year.

This would be our last IUI so it was bittersweet, I was extremely hopeful that there would be a baby growing inside, all while my thoughts kept going back to the next steps.  My biggest challenge with all of this is trying to stay in the moment, which I probably will not be able to truly due until I am pregnant, and then I will probably be just waiting to hold my sweet baby in my arms.